Topic: Hey all!

[VANGUARD]

Hello everyone, hope everyone is having a great weekend. I had some fun. I got to play some more of the Descent game, Vignettes. Got to play Call of Duty Black Ops, zombie mode, some was fun like getting that "Death Machine" in Five. But a lot of players I came across were sore losers. I can't believe how many people left the game because they were bleeding out, causing the game to end 

Oh well.

I am not saying goodbye, but I just haven't felt the same about things for a while. Something is draining my life. I think I know what it is, but it's one of those "it hurts if you let go. hurt if you keep it" sort of thing. I don't want to get into it. It doesn't play. I have already spoken to enough people about it, and it's a decision I have to make on my own.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend guys and gals.

[Matthew]

We've been down this road before, Van. Cheer up buddy!

[VANGUARD]

I know. although, it's not job related. it's girl related. I'm tired of the road, but I think it's getting worse.

oh well.

[Matthew]

I figured as much.

Here's my advice for you, from somebody who's (sort of) been down that road before. If things aren't working out, and it's just getting down, you might as well move on. It might hurt to let go, but it's less painful in the long run unless you think things are likely to improve the way they are.

[karx-elf-erx]

Better an end with terror than terror without an end.

[VANGUARD]

I don't want to get too detailed. I'm sure people on here care, but how much to hear a story?

In a nutshell, I am being torn in two different directions. I have dated, some I liked, some I didn't. I really like this girl. I feel unusually comfortable around her, and she seems to fit into the family quite well. Everyone so far that has seen her, likes her. With past girls, I have had my mom, sister, aunt, from time to time, maybe others, that may say "this girl is nice, but.."
However, with the girl I am with now, everyone likes her, no buts. My mom likes her the best of all of the girls I have gone out with. She says 'she's a keeper'.

Granted, I have my own mind. I can break it off, but I really really really really really like her, I mean really! We get along well, and I think in most cases, compliment each other quite well. We are there for each other, we may take turns paying, or coming up with something to do, we don't get into fights or arguments. She's really sweet.

I think all is GREAT! The only thing that hurts is "I just want to be friends (for now)". It's like I found the love of my life, and I am not with her. It's the only reason I keep fighting with my feelings, and trying to put them aside the best I can.

I don't like talking about this sort of stuff, and I am not a  fan of being the center of attention. But desperate times comes desperate measures.

I've also been told dieting can affect people. I think it may be some. When I am with her, when I talk about her, 99% of the time, it feels great.
Who says life is easy? Love hurts right?

I'll conclude this message by saying, I may have liked some girls, maybe a lot, but none came close to how I feel about this girl, and this girl is the only one I can think of that already feels like a close friend or member of the family. I need faith and patience.

[Crash]

So, you wanna make this one last... what's the problem then? Infact it sounds very good to me.
It sounds like you just need to relax and keep doing what you're doing to me.

I like Karx-elf-erx's saying though. I'll try to remember that, it's very good.

[VANGUARD]

the only thing is, we use to feel closer, like in a relationship, and some affection. im the sort of guy that likes that. and its gone. and that hurts. I told her, if we could hold hands, or maybe kiss on occasion, that'd be great. she soon decided not to at all.

I'm sure everyone thinks I'm crazy to be going through this hurt/pain because of that, but it just feels like it will never mount up to be more than friends.
I asked her a few days back, can she see us being more than friends in a few months. she can't.

so, that could be 6 months of not knowing. that's a tad long. you should know in a few weeks or a month, if you are thinking of it becoming more, whether you're ready or not. you should at least have an idea.

[VANGUARD]

I'm taking deep breaths when needed. I do believe I need to calm down and relax. I feel best then, as I assume everyone else does as well, and when I am relaxed, I am happy to know her, and to talk with her, and happy when I think of her. and that pain is gone.

I guess that's all I'll have to do. just relax. not complain. not get bogged down. eat/drink better.

Last night, I only thought of nice things, fishing, or a nice walk somewhere, a nice snowy day.
very peaceful and nice.

thank you for putting up with me.

[Crash]

I think the two of you need to be frank about your feelings there.
So, what exactly brought on this ... distance that's developed? You gotta find out why. Maybe something's troubling her ...
If it's really meant to work out, I wouldn't be too nervous about breaking some eggs to make the omelette. Jump in with both feet and figure out what's causing it all.

But ... obviously, be tactful. I only say that because I know a lot of very tactless people.

I'm no relationship person. I know f*** all about it but you seem like a really pleasant person to me and I hate to see things not work out for people like that.
Best of luck to you.

[VANGUARD]

thanks.

we did start off well, got along great, and showed some affection towards each other, holding hands, her fingers in my hair (sounds corny/weird talking with other guys about that sort of thing), arm around each other, etc.
and then, she stopped. she only gives me hugs. no kisses, no arm around me, no fingers running through my hair. nothing, just hugs.

she says she just wants to be friends. I asked for good or something more. she isn't sure. one time, whether it's the right thing to have said or not, I said, well, if we just plan to be friends, I may later date (this is after I told her how much this hurts to just be friends.) she understands and said if it happens, that she'd be happy for me. I asked her, how she would feel. she replied, "I'm not sure."
It's been complex in a way, and hard on me.

don't get me wrong. we get along great still, it's not like we fight or not talk to each other. we both still talk, laugh at stuff, smile, play pool, walks, etc..

edit: had to leave, work was done. back again, but not much else to say. so far, being patient and calm is working. I just take deep breaths and relax. When I do, I am very happy and believe there's a reason I am with her.

[Kaiaatzl]

Don't take this the wrong way...
I think if you can move on to another relationship and still be friends with her that would be pretty special.  Pretty sure most guys don't get to do that.

But I've never been in a relationship so, what do I know, right?

[VANGUARD]

I'm sure that is all fine and good. I don't believe that's bad, it's just not me. and I honestly don't feel like dating. I don't just go out and meet people, and I am so sick of online dating.

I went Frisbee golfing with her and her friends, and when we got done around 9:30 last night, I was feeling a bit tired and wanted to get home and go to bed. Then I heard "Let's eat! i am hungry!" Guess who got a ride to the frisbee golf place? yep. me. I couldn't say, I have to go, because that'd take a while for someone to drop me off and go back to eat. So I was at IHOP (first time) from 10:00 to 12:00 midnight.
It was brought up that I was the oldest of the 7 people, and at some point, I said "Since I'm squad leader, it's time to go." they listened. wow.
I am sore, tired, and sore. I guess I had fun. I did, but I can't do this on a weeknight. some have their job start at 9:00 or 9:30, not me. mine is 7:30.

[Crash]

Online dating is a sin against nature and is hazardous to the sanity. The ladyfriend has a friend who has dabbled in that and let's just say nothing good has come of it.

Have you ever seen Gundam SEED Destiny? Great show. There are two characters in there who are *absolutely meant* to be together and yet they never quite hit it off.
I'm not sure it its best to wait. It can be very painful in matters like these but patience does pay off.
I wonder whether it would be better to be forceful and manly and get to the bottom of the situation, find out what's going on and don't stop until you've fixed it. But that might not be appreciated and it might not be the right approach. You've just gotta let your instinct guide you.

One thing I can say is: Giving up is *never* the answer. I've never given up on anything in my life (although I've sometimes come close). Sometimes you might not win but you never lose that way either. You never lose. Things always work out if you want them enough (and it seems like you do) and you work at them.

Once you've decided that, it's simply a question of method and strategy.

[Kaiaatzl]

Have you ever seen Gundam SEED Destiny? Great show. There are two characters in there who are *absolutely meant* to be together...

[off-topic]Is that according to the writers?  (Meaning: Did the writers come out and say it directly?)
Just asking because sometimes it can be hard to tell fan opinions from the writers' intentions when you don't watch the show - especially when all you have is text to read.
No offense meant at all, and don't take it the wrong way.

You know, forums should require people to post sources when saying something that sounds like it was intended by the writers of a show, or a book... or... whatever.  That way someone unfamiliar with the show will be able to tell whether something was writer-intended or not, just by seeing if there are sources or not.  Very convenient.[/off-topic]