Topic: Joke Thread - (keep it clean)

[CrazyEnzo03]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out camping one night. They went into their tent, curled up in their sleeping bags and fell asleep.
In the middle of the night, Holmes woke up Watson and said, "Watson, look straight up, what do you see?"
Watson looked up at the stars and said, "I see thousands of tiny lights, but I know they are really stars, like the sun that gives life to our planet, and there are billions of them that my naked eyes cannot see. My God Holmes. If just a few of those stars had planets, and just a few of those planets had life, well there could be millions of civilizations out there. My God Holmes, you're a genius."
Sherlock Holmes said, "Watson - someone stole our tent."

[Scyphi]

I think this one's been told on this thread once already...if not, then I've already heard it somewhere else.

Nonetheless, it's not a bad gag, so I'm not against a repeat.

[VANGUARD]

at least twice I believe.

[Scyphi]

I believe it was WillyP who first posted it, way back on, like, page twelve.

EDIT: I was spot on. It's right there near the top of the page, even.

[Matthew]

Actually this is a different variant. I haven't seen this particular variant before. I personally think the other variant is funnier.

[CrazyEnzo03]

I'm not looking through 37 pages just to make sure that what I'm posting hasn't been posted before.

Anyway, I asked this on omegle recently and got funny responses:

[Kaiaatzl]

That sounds like my sort of answer site!

[-<WillyP>-]

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human
body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be
asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and
they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, "Boy, is
she going to get in big trouble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part
that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."


Mrs.Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued. "As
for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

One, you have a dirty mind.

Two, you didn't read your homework.

And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."

[Matthew]

I'm not looking through 37 pages just to make sure that what I'm posting hasn't been posted before.

Anyway, I asked this on omegle recently and got funny responses:

I just tried this and every single person said 0. BRB while I lose all faith in humanity.

OMG Somebody just got it right!

[TechPro]

13

[-<WillyP>-]

I agree. Stranger 2 missed the subtraction in the middle.

[Matthew]

I've got a pretty awesome reaction to it, maybe I'll post it later.

[Foil]

I'm still chuckling at WillyP's joke above... 

[Scyphi]

[Matthew]

How McDonalds makes oranges.