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Planet Descent
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Topic:
The *Junkies Look for Love
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Topic: The *Junkies Look for Love (Read 5156 times)
D2Disciple
Major
Gold
Posts: 524
Deal with it.
The *Junkies Look for Love
«
on:
June 10, 2009, 06:35:44 AM »
Once upon a time, in a far away galaxy known by the stereotypically fictive name of Zorkon....
[So, explain to me again exactly why we've lost touch with what's important in life? -Meat&Potatoes]
[You mean wanton destruction of innocent woodland creatures? -SniperJunkie]
[Oh, please. Last time you went hunting, that chipmunk you couldn't catch ran you right into a family of beavers. I'll never forget seeing your body used as a door for the dam. -HopelessCynic]
[Believe you me, those are most certainly
not
innocent creatures. -SniperJunkie]
[Incredibly unstable, yet helplessly inadequate to carry out your destructive tendencies - that's what I like about you, SniperJunkie. -Meat&Potatoes]
[But what exactly are you suggesting we do, here? -HopelessCynic]
[Well, I got to thinking... -Meat&Potatoes]
[Don't hurt yourself. -SniperJunkie]
[...That maybe we should go on a date. I've already got a girl and a reservation at a nice restaurant for tonight. Who's in? -Meat&Potatoes]
[I don't know. Does she have a good life insurance policy? -SniperJunkie]
[Is she as unattractive, painfully uncool, and as blatently argumentative as we are? -HopelessCynic]
[Her internet profile stated that she loves men "with personality." -Meat&Potatoes]
[I'll interpret that to mean she enjoys being with individuals that are constantly in a state of interpersonal flux among cynicism, violence, stoicism, technical skill, and a complete lack of attention span, sure. -HopelessCynic]
[I want to dye my skin mauve! -@Random]
[Oddly, that seems like a fitting action right now. -HopelessCynic]
[Well, lets stop clowning around and get ready for this! -Meat&Potatoes]
[Clowns scare me. -SniperJunkie]
[It's time for Bozo's Super Sunday Show! -@Random]
[
YOU FIEND!
-SniperJunkie]
[In retrospect, I probably should have told her to lay off the makeup some. -Meat&Potatoes]
[Just how bad could it be? -HopelessCynic]
[Her eyeshadow is as blue as the hamburger steak we left in the fridge since last Thanksgiving. -Meat&Potatoes]
[Pleasant. -HopelessCynic]
To be continued...
«
Last Edit: June 10, 2009, 06:41:40 AM by D2Junkie
»
Logged
I, for one, hope this is
much, much
more than a reconnaissance mission.
SaladBadger
Gold
Posts: 602
Re: The *Junkies Look for Love
«
Reply #1 on:
June 10, 2009, 07:49:58 AM »
[KillerInsanity: Wait, you're telling me a Sniper couldn't shoot down a chipmunk?]
[InsanityBrains: Well, they are really small, and fast...]
[KillerInsanity: A in-his-favor response like that is something I'd expect from NiceInsanity. He seems to support anyone]
[InsanityBrains: Well,
not
when they are trying to hunt woodland creatures...]
[KillerInsanity: But that's something I'd expect from EnviroInsanity]
[InsanityBrains: This is just going to go on and on is it?]
[KillerInsanity: And I'd expect that... *goes boom*... Argh, who put that barrel next to me?]
[DoomInsanity: /me pumps his shotgun and sneaks away...]
Logged
Scyphi
Purple Heart
Posts: 2386
TechPro Jr.
Re: The *Junkies Look for Love
«
Reply #2 on:
June 11, 2009, 07:29:15 AM »
[Whoa, holy forum change, Batman.--StupidScyphi]
[Getting back on topic...--AlmightyScyphi]
[You mean my ongoing narrative as to why coconuts make for good cannonballs?--RandomScyphi]
[No, no, I mean...--AlmightyScyphi]
[Coconut cannonballs? Is that even possible?--EvilScyphi]
[Of course it is.--RandomScyphi]
[Sign me up for a hundred to be delivered to my door, then. --EvilScyphi]
[Guys, guys, we really need to...--AlmightyScyphi]
[That'll be a 150 bucks.--RandomScyphi]
[You mean they're only a buck fifty apiece? Sign me up for
two
hundred then.--EvilScyphi]
[Guys, back to the topic now...please...?--AlmightyScyphi]
[You should also check out my latest gizmo.--RandomScyphi]
*throws off the covering veil*
[Ooo....ahhh!--All Scyphis]
[Ta da! It's a cellphone-PDA-MP3 player-camera-frenchfry maker shaped like a coconut! I call it...the Coconutberry!--RandomScyphi]
[I give up.--AlmightyScyphi]
[Bite-size coconuts anybody?--RandomScyphi]
Logged
"I thought I had a great idea, but it never really took off. In fact, it didn't even get on the runway. I guess you could say it exploded in the hanger." -
Calvin and Hobbes
Check out my
deviantART
SaladBadger
Gold
Posts: 602
Re: The *Junkies Look for Love
«
Reply #3 on:
June 11, 2009, 09:54:12 AM »
[LogicInsanity: If he's AlmightyScyphi couldn't he just silence them all?]
[InsanityBrains: You fool!, you never know when he might silence you, or the rest of us!]
[DoomInsanity: Green:Hah! I can't be silenced! I normally can only make noises by grunting, but I can also type stuff using the 'T' button!]
[BrainlessInsanity:wats bein slienzd evn meen? /me goes boom]
[DoomInsanity: Green:These barrels are useful... /me pumps shotgun]
[KillerInsanity: can you guys even do anything without someone dying?]
[NiceInsanity:He's right. You guys are way too violent. I'm going do helpful deeds for the world /me walks off]
[KillerInsanity: That's totally him...]
Logged
D2Disciple
Major
Gold
Posts: 524
Deal with it.
Re: The *Junkies Look for Love
«
Reply #4 on:
June 11, 2009, 10:26:29 AM »
Later that evening, at Bubba's House of Pork & Beans....
[I thought you said that we had a reservation at a nice restaurant? I feel like I just stepped into "Deliverance." -HopelessCynic]
[It is nice. I mean, what's nicer than an old run-down, on-the-side-of-the-highway barbecue diner that can cook a mean pork chop? -Meat&Potatoes]
[An old run-down, on-the-side-of-the-highway diner than can cook a mean soufflé? -HopelessCynic]
[Did someone really shoot a rabbit with antlers and hang it on the wall? That is so cool! -SniperJunkie]
[But what we really need is to appoint one personality to take over so we look normal. -Meat&Potatoes]
[I'll do it! -@Random]
[Wait - did he just make a logical response? -HopelessCynic]
[Actually, that's a good idea. -Meat&Potatoes]
[Please tell me your joking. Please. Pretty please. -SniperJunkie]
[No, you see - I'm too controlling to make a good impression, Sniper has... something of an oppressive spirit troubling his soul, Cynic is too depressive, and ModMan uses too much gobbledygook. @Random is the only one who has a chance of stumbling upon a subject she actually enjoys talking about. Once she gets interested, we'll have to take @Random out of the picture and continue from there. -Meat&Potatoes.]
[I never get to be the
mainboard
main man in these situations. Oh, and I speak jargon, not gobbledygook. Big difference. -ModMan]
[Quick! Silence! Here she comes! @Random, work your magic! -Meat&Potatoes]
[Oh! Hi! You must be Deidrich Juh'n Kee. It's a pleasure to meet you! -Girl]
[Yes ma'am it is. And it is my pleasure to meet you as well. What's your name, again? -@Random]
[It's Vanessa. -Vanessa]
[Oh yes, Vanessa. I sincerely apologize - I'm terrible with names. I'm sorry to bring you to such an old restaurant - I must have had another restaurant in consideration, but came here instead. Nonetheless, they do have good food here. The owner is a personal friend, and he's a fantastic chef. But pardon me. What do you do for a living, Vanessa? -@Random]
Meanwhile, silently...
[Is he.... holding an intelligent conversation? -HopelessCynic]
[It's going to be a fantastic success! -Meat&Potatoes]
[I smell a conspiracy. -HopelessCynic]
[Does it smell like bacon? If so, I think I do too. -SniperJunkie]
Back to the conversation...
[Oh, Deidrich, this is no problem. Location is not a big issue with me. As for what I do? I'm into fashion design down in the North Bridge area of the city. It's a nice place with nice people, but not too ritzy for the outsiders to enjoy coming and spending time there. -Vanessa]
[Oh, cool, what have you got in the Northbridge socket?? -ModMan]
[Is that what people call these parts now? How funny. We've got just some small shops and a quant little city square. We have a nice coffee shop there that tends to be a popular venue for local musicians. -Vanessa]
[You're crampin' my style, now, Mod... -@Random]
[...What? -Vanessa]
[I apologize. I tend to talk to myself a bit... I get nervous around incredibly hot women like you. -ModMan]
[Stick to the plan, moron! -Meat&Potatoes]
[... What is going on? Are you insulting me?? -Vanessa]
[No, it's not that... But I must confess I suffer from multiple pers-- -@Random]
SHOTS RING OUT...
[Deidrich? DEIDRICH! -Vanessa]
Bubba walks out of the kitchen with a shotgun...
[I'm sorry, that guy was insane. Multiple personailities. Manic-depressive tendencies. Paranoia-schizophrenia. Saw it all the time when I was a clinical psychiatrist. Not worth breathing my precious oxygen, I tell you. -Bubba]
[You're a psychiatrist? -Vanessa]
[Ha. No. But I can cook a mean pork chop. -Bubba]
[Oh, Bubba! You're the best! -Vanessa]
THE END
«
Last Edit: June 11, 2009, 10:31:24 AM by D2Junkie
»
Logged
I, for one, hope this is
much, much
more than a reconnaissance mission.
SaladBadger
Gold
Posts: 602
Re: The *Junkies Look for Love
«
Reply #5 on:
June 11, 2009, 10:44:58 AM »
[InsanityBrains: Remind me to never stop at Bubba's. My brains are too good to be dead]
[KillerInsanity: Why? I could probably take him out if I needed. /me arms a plasma cannon >:)]
A black figure runs behind KillerInsanity... Soon enough it comes by again in the oppisite direction, but much closer
[InsanityThief: Stole Plasma Cannon! /me runs away]
[KillerInsanity: Argh, InsanityThief, my mortal enemy...]
[InsanityBrains: How many of those do you even have?]
Logged
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The *Junkies Look for Love
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