Topic: Joke Thread - (keep it clean)

[VANGUARD]

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house."

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"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"The chicken!"

[TechPro]

I had a dream last night that I was a muffler...  I woke up exhausted!

[VANGUARD]

I slept I got ran over by a car. I woke up tired.

sorry, just had to say one like that too.

[-<WillyP>-]

There were two trees in the woods near each other, a Beech and Birch. They were somewhat friends.

One day a small sapling sprung up between the the two of them and thus began a squabble between the Beech and the Birch over whether the sapling was a son of Beech or a son of Birch. They agreed to disagree until the young sapling got old enough to start showing sure characteristics of being either a Beech or a Birch.

A few years later the young sapling had grown into a strapping little tree, though still not quite distinguishable as one type or another. The Beech swore it was a son of a Beech and of course the Birch maintained it was obviously a son of a Birch.

Finally along came a woodpecker. The Beech and the Birch immediately realized that the bird, being a connoisseur of all things wood, would be able to settle this debate once and for all. So they called to the woodpecker and asked him to weigh in. The woodpecker agreed and flew all around the young tree, eyeing it up and down. He landed on it and poked here and poked there clearly in deep concentration. After what seemed like an inordinate amount of time to the Beech and the Birch for something that each thought should be a quick and easy determination, the woodpecker announced his findings: "I'll be honest you Beech, and Birch you know I can't tell a lie; it's neither a son of a Beech nor a son of a Birch, but the finest piece of Ash I've ever stuck my pecker in." And he flew away with the most satisfied look on his face.

[VANGUARD]

I was going to post something, but I see it on top of this page by me 
I told that joke to one guy and failed to get it. I told another and he got it right away.

As for your joke, I knew that was coming, play on words with beech and birch. nice