Planet Descent
Community => Mess Hall => Topic started by: Alieo on March 31, 2012, 11:02:16 PM
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Houston is a sprawling big city with an explosive night life. I was invited by my best friend to go to this night club with him and his girlfriend, his friends, and her friends, and just have a good time. I went, seeing as though I NEVER go out, but I'm not much for clubs. I've been to several before, and, more places that others are set up where it's just one super loud dance floor area while others actually have a quiet area you can go to to have a decent conversation with people you meet. But how in the hell are you supposed to meet new people in this world when night clubs are so loud and people are so snobbish that you cannot penetrate their thick egotistical wall, and when you finally do, you gotta scream in their ear for the rest of the night just to have a damn conversation? See, this is why I do the online dating thing, but even there, people put up their "red light" and make it impossible to be contacted. Seriously, somebody LET ME IN! I promise I'm a nice guy, and not like other people that tarnished your over calloused wall around your pride.
I was there 20 min., saw some egotistical people, grabbed a sledgehammer (my e-cigarette is always a conversation starter) and shattered some egotistcal walls, began talking to some people, but there is no "talking" to people with music blaring loud. At Numbers, this one 80s themed night club I actually like (but still rarely go to) you can step outside, but THIS place IS outside and it's loud, and you CAN'T meet people there without hollering in their ear the whole time, it's crowded as f***, and I just left after 20 min. I was like, I'm bored. lol
What I don't get about my stupid generation is, why do we all have to "look a certain way," and "act a certain way" and follow all these damn rules rules rules... just be your f***ing self godd****t! Everyone is so effing FAKE! They all got the same haircut, the SAME look on their face, that vacant "I'm a badass" expression, no one is happy, and I refuse to be around people and the general public if that's the way it is now. F*** it. Sorry, just... a little peeved.
But what are y'alls' opinions? Why are people so fake? Why do people put on a front? WHY is EVERYONE trying to 1-UP everyone else??? BACK DOWN and be HUMBLE!
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Well if you do meet a girl you like there you have the perfect opportunity to ask her to go somewhere quieter and talk.
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I'm with you Alieo. I think you're 27, right? I will be 30 in May.
Girls. Not easy to deal with. They are simply in their own world. Online, not any better.
I have come across the occasional profile where I met a girl who sounds like she is looking for a guy just like me. So, I send a nice little message. Nothing long, nothing about a great time in bed, or anything of the sort. and......no replies.
I had sent a message to a girl, not long ago, and it was not only nice and sweet, but very well done.
no replies. At some point, I saw that she read it, but didn't reply. Now, I was being a jerk and later decided to send her a quick note saying I guess she's not my type.
Volia, she replies, and sounds like she'll forgive me for that 2nd letter, and start fresh.
so i send her a nice reply back, and.......never replied after that.
what frustrates me the most are no replies. That's like being in the bar, or at a store, or going for a walk, whereever, saying "hello", and they don't even bother to say hi back.
Thus is why I rarely even send a message to any girl now.
I reply. I do. Whether it be, "thanks for the message, would love to talk." or "thanks, but not interested."
I believe it's important to do that.
sending automatic "thanks, but no thanks" messages is cheap, and weak.
have the time to reply.
The other thing is, how much money are they spending a month? why not reply, and see where it can go? why be like, "well, he's great, but gosh, if he was just one inch taller. or if he liked this music.'
just reply, see what happens.
When I move in June, I will try to get out more and meet girls. But even in person, they can be a little frustrating.
I had a girl at my job for a month or so. we didn't always talk, but we did from time to time. she liked this guy, who I am friends with.
day she left, she was RIGHT by me. never said bye to me.
in person, or online to in person, I don't see people as being too loyal and devoted anymore. It's a free world so to speak, and people don't want to be tied down. When I have a close friend, they are family. I don't just say bye, even when things get busy. I don't say bye because I have a new friend. I really liked that girl I told you guys about, even though it was getting very painful.
She kept claiming she was some friend, but where is she? I send an email, and no replies. I get ugly, and I get a reply.
Sometimes, I think that is how it's done. It's not the way I want to go, and hope never to, but sometimes the only way it seems to get their attention is to burst the bubble, bring them down to earth.
As for that girl I was with for 11 months, I will no longer have anything to do with her. If there was some place to write here, that will never go away, easy to access/get to, I will type "Goodbye (name)"
I did in the snow at my new place, but obviously snow melts.
anyways. I am with ya Alieo. I don't get it. girls should know the economy but still want some guy making SSOOOO much money, and be so tall, and be into this, and be into that, and it's funny. You seem to match so well, and yet, they'd rather still spend so much a month on that site than say, "I'll be happy to meet you."
it's their money.
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You are so far off base... I will let you in on a secret about girls... you don't understand them and never will. No guy will ever understand a girl from a girls point of view. And that's ok, you don't really need to understand them to get laid. You need to forget about understanding them, stop trying to act a certain way because you think that is what a girl will like (because you will always be wrong and she won't like you because you are not genuine and probably too mushy) and just be yourself. Unless you're totally boring, then you got a problem. And never listen to any advice about 'getting' girls.
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that's probably why nice guys tend to finish last. I'm not here to get laid. I tend to be myself. internet is hard, because you're typing messages and can't just go with the flow, but even in person, it can be tricky. I haven't had that much experience in the real world. I mainly just say hello, they say hi back.
update/edit:
The thing one has to remember is, not all girls are alike, same with guys. Some want that action in bed. some like a conversation to start the day. some love humor, some love cockiness. we're different.
what may win one girl is do something dumb and impressive at the same time, while another may simply shake their head and walk the other way.
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Ditto what WillyP said. I can't claim to have much experience in this area, but I know enough about the opposite sex to say this much.
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Nice guys finish last, but their prize is better.
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Nice guys finish last, but their prize is better.
True. If I want to get laid. I suppose it could happen. A girl has, you know, that enables a guy like me to do it with them.
there is more to a girl than that, lot lot more. Eventually, sex will get old and you'll be with that girl who you don't love.
love comes first. The sex can come later.
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What you want is a friend first (required in order for love to endure and last) and it's really hard to find a lasting friend in the club scene.
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Darc his sister and I had the same thing sort of happen at a bowling meet recently. Music was definitely too loud, but we were able to socialize with some really cool people (just had to scream really loud).
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Well if you do meet a girl you like there you have the perfect opportunity to ask her to go somewhere quieter and talk.
Not at this place... once you're in, you can't get out, and I was kind of in there with a party, and so would everyone else be there with someone else.
I'm just ranting about the general demeanor of my generation. All these people my age put up a front, no matter where you go. It's full blown psychological warfare. Now, I know the frustrations you face online and offline. I face them too, but every now and then, I get a message out of the blue or whatever, but I don't care. They're not frustrations anymore. I'd rather enjoy my solitude (and I have been for 4 years now) than be fake and be something I'm not.
...you don't really need to understand them to get laid...
Getting laid is not my objective either. Let's admit it: Society is sex-crazed because of propagandist media outlets. If you don't WANT sex all the time, or aren't thinking about it, you're not NORMAL, you're not a MAN! Says who? Huh?
I'd be PERFECTLY happy in a completely sexless relationship if that's what she wanted. There are much better ways to express your sexual attraction to each other, and missionary is SO last century. You can pleasure each other much better with more creative techniques without intercourse. THAT'S not the issue! I choose not to engage in intercourse because A: it isn't pleasurable, it's one motion back and forth, and since I never want kids, a condom would ALWAYS be required, and those things SUCK! Other methods of mutual stimulation are FAR better, B: it's RISKY nowadays... God knows WHAT the girl has or WHERE she's been! That's why you can't go around screwing anything with legs; gotta get to know 'em first; and C, I don't want kids -- EVER! Maybe it's a combination of I value my personal freedom too much and me being selfish, but I'll be DAMNED if I get a girl pregnant.
Intercourse should be reserved for having babies--PERIOD. Porn isn't bad, it's taboo. Kinky stuff isn't bad, it's taboo, and those taboos make people afraid to open up and be themselves. People invest all this emotional energy and self-worth over how they perform in the bedroom. That is just ludicrous! I refuse to play that game. I am proud to say that sex is overrated and our society's obsession over it will be the downfall of the classes. They already have begun to fall.
Nice guys finish last, but their prize is better.
Nice guys worry about "playing the game." I say, just come what may and don't keep score. Don't keep score because YOU AIN'T PLAYIN'!
I'm not here to get laid.
I should HOPE not, Vanguard! This is a Descent forum full of a bunch of guys! LOL! :P
What you want is a friend first (required in order for love to endure and last) and it's really hard to find a lasting friend in the club scene.
Amen to that. I've been in situations where I DO meet someone successfully online, and it goes great, but too soon. We hit it off too fast and both THINK we're in love from the get go, completely blindsided by instant enamor! From experience, any relationship that starts off from a speeding bullet train, it WILL derail. So I totally agree on friends first, and see where it goes.
Darc his sister and I had the same thing sort of happen at a bowling meet recently. Music was definitely too loud, but we were able to socialize with some really cool people (just had to scream really loud).
See, and that's why I left that club after being there 20 min. I have to scream in other peoples' ears, everyone has their ego walls up, I told my friend I was bored and left. I didn't wanna be rude, but, I have better things to do with my time than stand like a rock in a place watching people who think they look cool. Honestly, I was the best dressed fool there. I had a white sports coat with a black polo, black slacks, shiny black loafers, electric cigarette that looks like a chrome cigar, and BLUUUUE hair! haha
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Nice guys finish last, but their prize is better.
True. If I want to get laid. I suppose it could happen. A girl has, you know, that enables a guy like me to do it with them.
there is more to a girl than that, lot lot more. Eventually, sex will get old and you'll be with that girl who you don't love.
love comes first. The sex can come later.
... What?
Clearly my definition of a nice guy varies a bit from yours.
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Nice guys finish last, but their prize is better.
True. If I want to get laid. I suppose it could happen. A girl has, you know, that enables a guy like me to do it with them.
there is more to a girl than that, lot lot more. Eventually, sex will get old and you'll be with that girl who you don't love.
love comes first. The sex can come later.
... What?
Clearly my definition of a nice guy varies a bit from yours.
I myself wouldn't just go out and do that with a girl. I was just pointing out that one shouldn't just go out and make love with someone, and then build on that. Love someone, be there for them, grow, get married, make love.
You need to find someone that fits you, personality and characteristics. making love only, gosh, any man and woman "can" do that. getting involved just because you two are great in bed, bad idea.
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If you don't WANT sex all the time, or aren't thinking about it, you're not NORMAL, you're not a MAN!
I have to disagree with that.
Oh, what's that? I took your statement completely out of context? Imagine that! ;)
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Well, I personally would like to think that there's more to life than sex.
As such, I'm more inclined to agree with Alieo. I don't know if I'd go as far as call it 'overrated,' but sex is definitely overhyped these days.
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Nice guys finish last, but their prize is better.
True. If I want to get laid. I suppose it could happen. A girl has, you know, that enables a guy like me to do it with them.
there is more to a girl than that, lot lot more. Eventually, sex will get old and you'll be with that girl who you don't love.
love comes first. The sex can come later.
... What?
Clearly my definition of a nice guy varies a bit from yours.
I myself wouldn't just go out and do that with a girl. I was just pointing out that one shouldn't just go out and make love with someone, and then build on that. Love someone, be there for them, grow, get married, make love.
You need to find someone that fits you, personality and characteristics. making love only, gosh, any man and woman "can" do that. getting involved just because you two are great in bed, bad idea.
Isn't that what a nice guy is? :/
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personally i'm a social recluse, so when i find friends i consider it easy. when i walk into a classroom, i go to one of two locations: front and center, or next to some dude who doesn't look weird. of course since i'm attending a community college at the moment, it isn't hard for me to run into people my age. i'm taking one class in a computer lab, and when the guy i sit next to got on facebook, i hopped on and friend requested him and i was all like "found you on facebook SUCKA" and now i guess we're friends. o.O we don't really hang out but, now it's documented. :P
usually i find the straight-forward no BS approach to be effective enough. with most of the guys i work with, one day i was just like "hey x" "yeah" "ARE WE FRIENDS?" "yeah"
of course i'm also kind of odd compared to most people, so maybe that's why it works for me.
as for women, i tend not to feel the need to find "someone". i'm fine alone. but if i run into one i fancy, it's worth prospecting. what i used to do before was nothing, and i was ok with not having her. but then a girl that i used to like went to college and got a boyfriend and i was like "FUUUU" so i decided to not do nothing anymore. later i ran into this cashier at the store i work in and decided i liked her, so i went to my boss who is a total manwhore for advice on how to ask her out. i'm not into the whole being a whore thing, but i figure he must have some kind of method of madness for getting on good terms with women if he can screw that many. what he told me was simple: since she's a cashier, whenever i buy something i automatically have an excuse to go see her. so i would just have to go buy some small thing and be all like "hi how's your day been?" and make friendly, yet really small talk with her on a regular basis until we became familiar. the key is to remain calm, make eye contact, smile a bit, and keep personal things out of the question until that familiarity is established. rinse and repeat for as long as it takes until it seems ok to ask if she wants to hang out. not specifically "go out" but more like "hang out" so it doesn't seem so forward. i think i've gotten to that point now, but probably won't actually do it because i'm going to move away forever in like less than two months. but it seems to be a good formula and i'd recommend it.
also other tactics that i've read on the internet since that's where all the good advice is, is if you're in a room and you fancy someone in it that you don't know, make eye contact. if she catches you, don't break contact. she'll probably look away. if she looks back, try reducing distance. once within speaking range (about arm's length), open with an impersonal topic, like the classic weather topic. the point is to engage in verbal interaction. a huge percentage of communication is nonverbal, and the verbal communication pretty much only exists as an excuse to communicate nonverbally. eye contact, facial expression, voice inflection and tone, posture, gestures, and physical contact are better keys for interest than words can ever be, especially with someone new.
of course the above paragraph assumes a place to meet people you don't know in a setting where talking is even possible. how to find such a mysterious place, i have no idea. tell me if you guys ever figure it out.
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Strange, my experience at community college has been at least half the people there are in their mid 20s or later.