Planet Descent
Community => Mess Hall => Topic started by: Alieo on October 26, 2011, 06:16:59 PM
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[EDIT: Sorry guys, I gotta pull this. I've decided I'm going to go in an all original direction and need to protect my work. I'll let you know if it's a hit.]
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Don't be shy. Your writing is excellent but you're being shy about it -- the writing is not committing to anything.
Establish the world, sure, but then don't just leave it there. There's no point to the world unless you do something with it.
You're a good writer -- I see that in all your posts.
Do you have a plotline yet? It's a VERY good idea to plan at least that much out before you start writing -- if you start writing before you know what the conflict will be, the writing won't do anything until you know what the conflict will be. You can have the best writing in the world but you won't keep anyone's attention if you don't follow a plot. Readers are engrossed because they want to know what is going to happen next. It only works if what happens next matters. Make it matter. Don't be shy.
What does a good teaser do?
Only two things:
1. It tells the reader/viewer/gamer/whoever that something is going to happen WITHOUT revealing what that thing is.
2. It tells the reader/viewer/gamer/whoever, that whatever that something is, it's going to matter.
You can even do this in one (incomplete!) sentence:
"In a land eternally shrouded with darkness, a light is soon to awaken... Coming October 2012"
That might be the cheeziest example I can think of, but I think it gets at the point.
What does your teaser do?
1. Is something going to happen? Definitely. And I can't tell what that is going to be.
2. Is whatever happens going to matter?
I have no idea. Maybe, all that's going to happen is you posting what happened to the D2 mines, and then you're done here. Or, maybe, space pirates will escape from Neptune storage depot, get inside Charon Heavy Volatile mine, restart the Ultra-Hulk, and use it to begin a reign of terror on the solar system.
This would be one way to make it work, with only two more sentences(!). And of course there would be infinite more ways.
It's been thirteen years since Dravis was defeated at his stronghold in Venus and the alien virus has been deactivated. For thirteen years, the solar system has been a peaceful place. The PTMC is now headed by the late Suzuki's son, Shin, along with his right hand woman, Karl Sweitzer's daughter, Alice Sweitzer, Vice-President of PTMC and Chairwoman of the Mining Robot Division. With the CED policing the solar system and keeping it safe from looting space pirates, all has been pretty peaceful.
Several extra terrestrial colonies have since been salvaged and converted out of old blown PTMC mines. Some could not be recovered because of dangerously high levels of radiation when the mine blew and had to be sealed. Some of the remaining mine conversions are space hotels, resorts, shopping malls for the space tourists, speedways and sporting venues, restaurants and cafes, refueling stations, storage facilities, space ship assembly lines, museums, space academies, CED military bases and some are prisons.
The CED converted Neptune Storage Depot into a prison. That's where all the space pirates who try to disrupt the peace are sent. That's where I come in. For the past thirteen years, I've been working with the CED, patrolling the black skies of the solar system, putting away dirt bag space pirates for stealing remnant weapon powerups from blown mines. For the most part, the looting is over, thank goodness, but every now and then, I'll get a call that a renegade is trying to disrupt the peace. There's a CED base on Pluto, where the old Pluto Military Base is. They call it Area 26. Go Figure. They have a few other military bases scattered throughout the solar system. The biggest base of theirs is in the Asteroid Belt at the Asteroid Secret Base. That's where all the space pirate action takes place because those dirt bag space pirates think they can take over the weapons storage facility there.
Here is a full list of the old PTMC mines from my first stint at being contracted with the PTMC to rid the infected robots and what they have been converted to today:
01: Lunar Outpost - PTMC Energy Depot (a lunar refueling station)
02: Lunar Sci-Lab - PTMC Robot Museum (a replica of all robots from Descent on display)
03: Lunar Military Base - CED Space Academy, The Moon (space cadet training from the CED and CED first line military base defense)
04: Venus Atmospheric Lab - Same (restored, conducts and monitors atmospheric experiments on weather changes and greenhouse effects)
05: Venus Nickel-Iron Mine - Nickel-Iron Raceway (an anti-gravity spacecraft racing circuit)
06: Venus Solar Research Lab - Same (restored, conducts tests on solar flares and solar storms. Ran by ISAA [Interplanetary Space Atmospheric Association] )
07: Mercury Core - closed and sealed due to excess amounts of radiation from Super Hulk destruction
08: Mars Processing Station - Israeli Manufacturing, Co. (assembly line for the Pyro line of spacecrafts)
09: Mars Military Dig - CED Station, Mars
10: Mars Orbital Station - Spaceball Park (hosts several arenas including the venue "spaceball" where the sport you know as baseball is taken to all new anti-gravity heights. Also hosts various Monsterball events, Capture the Flag, Laser Tag, and much more. A total of 7 arenas built from the old Mars Orbital Station, now grounded on Mars surface)
11: Io Sulpher Mine - Io Geological Research Lab (conducts research on planetary core changes)
12: Callisto Tower Colony - Grande Luxe, Callisto (a space hotel)
13: Europa Mining Colony - closed and sealed, excess radiation from mineblast
14: Europa CO2 Mine - Europa Venture (a habitat with a self-sustaining ecosystem, such as plant life, farms, living quarters, etc.)
15: Titan Mine - Titan Mall (contains theaters, shops, cafes, rock climbing, etc.)
16: Hyperion Methane Mine - Level 16 Energy (a methane refinery and distribution center, because of the depths of the old Hyperion mine, this mine was an excellent candidate to salvage as a refinery. With it's new construction, it is now 30 times deeper than the old Hyperion Methane Mine)
17: Tethys H2O Mine - Tethys Magnetics Research Lab (it's circular shape is perfect for conducting research on free spinning magnetic technology and the effects water has on gravity and magnetics)
18: Miranda Mine - Miranda Speedway (home of the largest interior spacecraft speedway in the solar system)
19: Oberon Mine - Grand Luxe, Oberon (a space hotel/resort)
20: Oberon Iron Mine - Oberon Mall (contains theaters, shops, cafes, rock climbing, etc.)
21: Oberon Platinum Mine - PTMC Robot Museum, Oberon (a replica of all robots from Descent on display. Also features a target practice shooting range!)
22: Neptune Storage Depot - CED Maximum Security Penitentiary (where rogue space pirates and offenders of outer space crime land)
23: Triton Storage Depot - PTMC Storage Depot, Triton (restored as a storage depot for various things for travelers of deep space)
24: Nereid Volatile Mine - CED Deep Space Academy, Nereid (a larger facility than the CED Space Academy, it acts as "graduate school" to cadets who graduate from the CED Space Academy on the moon equipped with facilities that will prepare them for deep space ventures. Features a magnetics research facility similar to the one on Tethys, a self sustaining ecosystem wing, research labs, anti-gravity research, etc.)
25: Pluto Outpost - Pluto Plasma, Co. (a private business)
26: Pluto Military Base - CED Station, Pluto
27: Charon Volatile Mine - closed and sealed due to excess radiation from Ultra Hulk destruction
As good as this looks from the outside, there is a sense of tension in the air. I have a feeling that this peace cannot last much longer.
To Be Continued. . .
Now that I'm probably starting to sound like your high-school English teacher, I'll shut up.
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Good points, Kaia. I'm not shy about anything, but time is my biggest enemy. Basically I'm establishing the basis of one short story, and how things are around the solar system today, but you are SO right in the sense that I should have added on a little two sentence teaser at the end. I am going to edit it and add that right now so be on the look out for it. I was pressed for time and didn't bother to add the teaser. And I guess in the future, I'll just write and add on new chapters whenever I can.
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Actually, scratch that... consider this whole thread a pilot version. I'm going to revise the story slightly and make it all better. I have a plot and direction this can go, but I need to do more character building. I've got something though... just bare with me. It's gonna be called: DESCENT: A Solar Systematic Life.
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Hehe, but can you top 70,000 words for a story? I have written on a certain website about my certain character who was taken from his certain universe and plunged into a new certain universe for a certain fandom and I have also surprisingly written a certain scene that I promised myself that I would not wright but it just seemed right because my character needed more depth. *Deep breath*
I wonder if I should post it on the Reactor. Wait, unless the Reactor has adult content blockers, then no.
So Alieo, your grand idea of a "what now?" scenario is a superb idea since it has always been a question in the Descent universe. It is also great that you were able to come up with unique ideas about what the different mines are like now. It sounds like you will have great consistency, and that is key to any type of science fiction piece. I am looking forward to this.
Also, I am glad that you recognized that the PTMC is not bad. It was just under Dravis's thumb because he had control of the virus and I think a lot of people miss that. Plus I love the CED.
Oh yeah, and if you do plan on writing a long story instead of a short story like you said, be prepared to be writing it for a loooong time. It took me 4 months to write mine off and on, but having a portable device that you can take anywhere and then email what you write to yourself helps.
Writing your own story is fun and addictive. I like how I write because I can go without thinking and the words write themselves, and sometimes I create unexpected twists that I did not foresee two scentences ago. I'm serious about that. I will never forget it.
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Hehe, but can you top 70,000 words for a story?
I can. Currently am working at editing a novel I've been writing that is (presently) at 182,351 words (about 287 pages in Microsoft Word). And that's just that story. I have other stories that I've written that either match or even exceed that. :D
Not to brag or anything. :P
None of them are Descent related, though (at least one has to be inspired by it, though) so maybe that doesn't count. All of this does make me think of a D4-esque storyplot I've had bouncing around in my head for awhile now...maybe one of these days I should sit down and write it out...
Anyway, interesting idea you've got here Alieo. Definitely has potential. :)
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@Alieo: I didn't say you were shy, only that the writing was. That's the difference.
Also I'm suprised no one called me out on being a show-off (j/k).
@NZ you are so (w)right about (w)riting. I had an english prof a couple of years ago, who told the entire class that the act of writing could never be fun and was always torturous no matter who the author was. I almost quit the class (w)right then because she was so wrong -- (and it got worse. Most profs I've had try to give opinions, theories and such that they don't support as much weight as those that they do, in their class, for balance. This prof's so-called "curriculum" consisted almost ENTIRELY of her own personal opinions -- and most of them I didn't agree with. I don't even think "curriculum" is the (w)right word for what she taught... I think a better term would be "indoctrination". :P )
To me the act of (w)riting is almost the same as reading -- the only difference is I'm also copying it onto paper :P.
Yes, I've long-past topped 70,000 words on a novel that's about... one-third done. Oh, and it's the third in the trilogy.
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Alright! We're all writers here! There should be more stories on the reactor.
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Except that a lot of those works are not yet complete, or already published another way ... And writers are notorious for not wanting to share their works before it's finished.
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Well as far as my little story is going, I've already got a plot and place in mind. I'm opting to share as I go and it'll just be a little ongoing saga I guess, so stay tuned.
Again, the "official work" is now here:
[EDIT: Sorry guys, I gotta pull this. I've decided I'm going to go in an all original direction and need to protect my work. I'll let you know if it's a hit.]
EDIT: Oh, and for the record, I've never written anything over 2,500 words in my life.
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Except that a lot of those works are not yet complete, or already published another way ... And writers are notorious for not wanting to share their works before it's finished.
That, or in my case, I kept changing ideas and then could never finish them. I still get ideas in my head, and I would "LOVE" to share it. The only problem is, I'd only get just so far, and that's it.
I think I can only tell people what my story is about, but the actual typing out chapters, heh, not my strong point at all.
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Yes, I've long-past topped 70,000 words on a novel that's about... one-third done. Oh, and it's the third in the trilogy.
I have a couple ideas that are like that. :P
I had an english prof a couple of years ago, who told the entire class that the act of writing could never be fun and was always torturous no matter who the author was. I almost quit the class (w)right then because she was so wrong
Wow, makes me glad all of my English professors have all been very passionate about their subject, and as a result, usually very enjoyable classes. :D
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I think I can only tell people what my story is about, but the actual typing out chapters, heh, not my strong point at all.
I had the same issue in the past, but what I'm doing this time, I'm going by an outline, and the rest of the story/drama/conversation is all filler to get to the next point in the outline.
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I think I can only tell people what my story is about, but the actual typing out chapters, heh, not my strong point at all.
I had the same issue in the past, but what I'm doing this time, I'm going by an outline, and the rest of the story/drama/conversation is all filler to get to the next point in the outline.
I think I know what you mean.
This "may" be it, and it may very well not be it, but my thing sometimes is laying out the chapters.
The next may be within the chapter, some of the things that will happen;
"this person goes to bar and has conversation with so and so."
"leaves bar and returns home."
My Vanguard stories are kind of cool, but far from showing anyone what it's about. i think the fun part of showing others is making your story come alive so to speak.
It's not just going to be buried with me when I die (if my gf saw this, she'd think "that's morbid."), anyways. It's nice to share and have others know there's something in my head............... did that come out right?
anyways, you got the locations of each chapter. that looks neat. must have taken some time to get that together.
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Actually, this post just started out as a random thought and would be quite literally, "PTMC Mines... what are they today?" but then, I added on the first paragraph before that and all of a sudden it just grew and grew like cellular division and now I've got a whole plot lined up. As to how long it took me to make the list, I just simply listed the old ones down, thought about what the mine looked like and what it could be used to do if converted for functional use beyond an infected mech battleground.
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Everyone can write, but even I have to confess that some people are just more...gifted...at it than others.
Take me for example. Half the time I don't even bother with notes. I just sit down and write it from the top of my head. Never had to do much more than that. And while that doesn't seem like much, I know a lot of other people, fellow writers even, who just can't do that. They have to stop and manually plot things out first before they start any writing me. Me, it's just sit down, write, write, write, write, write, write, okay time to call it a day, and do it again the next day.
Regardless of however you're good at it, though, if you want to write, then the best thing to do is to actually sit down and write. Doesn't matter if it's good or not on the first try. It usually never is. But write it anyway, and when you're done, write something else. Eventually you learn from past mistakes and become more and more practiced at it. The process goes even faster when you get others to read it and provide input, because they can see problem-spots sooner than you could, and they can help bring it to your attention and squash it that much faster. But I can certainly relate to the not-wanting-to-share-your-work-until-it's-absolutely-perfect-and-even-then-you-have-to-twist-my-arm-to-do-it syndrome a lot of writers have, so the latter is not a straightaway must.
But sooner or later, someone other than yourself needs to see it, otherwise what was the point of writing it? ;)
Anyway, just some words of thought in the matter. :)
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"Part 2: The Pamphlet" is now up. One thing you'll notice is that I start to introduce years in the story as if it's occurring present day. I like to think it is, and in a way, existing in a parallel universe in conjunction to our present timeline. So, same timelines, same countries, same president, but it's like, if we had gone back to the 60s and put away our financial greed, we probably WOULD have had "flying cars" by 2000 as predicted, or at least have been way farther down the road of technological advancements.
Anyways, enjoy part 2. We start getting into the list as MD has a conversation with Kaitlyn Harper.
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I was going to ask about the years, but you've already provided an answer. :P
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Everyone can write, but even I have to confess that some people are just more...gifted...at it than others.
You forgot the "if I do say so myself".
But we're all showing off here. Personally, the strategies I've already talked about here -- I can write without them, it's only that in general, when I use them, what comes out is much higher quality. So it's kind of a self-imposed restriction but it works.
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But we're all showing off here.
Yeah seriously, what's with all the 1337 stuff? :P
But yeah, I'm just doing this for fun. Of course, I'd like feedback or if you like or dislike the direction the story is going, let me know. I've never written anything long before, but I think this time will be different. I won't be able to update it everyday, but whenever I can get to it, I will. I just hope it's enjoyable and entertaining for everyone, and believable for the descent universe.
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I think the MD needs more smart ass remarks and they need to be biting. In all of the games, he would have one literally every other line. D1's briefing had it throughout.
EDIT: YES! 1,000th post!
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that's up to Alieo.
The thing with me; and it may or may not work; not everything has to be from the game.
Like my version of Descent, there were several MD's fighting the robots. Maybe a one true main character, but there were several.
In the "Penumbra" series (Overture/Black Plaugue/Requiem", Philip is engaged, but there is no mention of that in the game.
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Oh, MD will get his chance at the smart ass remarks. You have to remember, he hated Dravis, yet Kaitlyn Harper saved his life.
Another thing you must consider, MD, while still relatively "young," he is closer to middle age now and isn't as hot and cocky as he was when we first met him. I'm presuming back in 1995 he was about 28, giving him time in his early to mid twenties to do other lines of mercenary type work (remember, he mentioned in the D1 briefing that he has killed people in the past) so I'm presuming that makes him about 44ish now.
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Part 3 is up. I introduce a concurrent story line on Mercury.
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Sorry guys, I took down the story. I've decided I'm going to go in an all original direction and need to protect my work. I'll let you know if it's a hit.
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Sorry guys, I took down the story. I've decided I'm going to go in an all original direction and need to protect my work. I'll let you know if it's a hit.
I'm confused...
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He is afraid that somebody is going to steal it.
IDK. I've got mine hanging out in the open, but I can go to court and kick ass to get my story back because there is so much obvious evidence that it is mine. I'll sue him for every penny that he has got, and I will sit on his money like it is my throne.
I won't hesitate.
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Yeah but I don't wanna go through all that. If for some reason I produce something that has the remote chance of making me set for life... yeah... you know what I mean? I'd be kicking myself.
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No risk, no reward. Get your material published, even for free. Then write more. Earn a name for yourself as a writer. Then you have a chance of making a living at it.
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I'm with Alieo on this, being a fellow writer myself, and have faced the same choice myself. Besides, there are better ways to share written works with less of the risk of it being stolen.
Either way, it's his choice, so let him make it. :)
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Besides... It's already out there, it's saved somewhere. The interwebz is forevar.
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Or for a good length of time, at least. "Forever," in the literal sense, is probably stretching it a little. :P
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Moar powuh to um....
Too bad MD and the PTMC is copyrighted. Besides, that's not the direction I am going anymore, however, I AM using the idea of converted space mines into business venues and creating a world on that... but as far as the story line and plot is concerned... that's MY brainchild.
So whutevar iz in the interwebz forevar, it was just a lil snippet of a vast new world.
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There are a lot of those out there, actually. Seen quite a few stories that had promising starts but never get finished, and are just left out of the web, as IHateHackers said it, "forevar."
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Sounds like my story I have rotting on the reactor. My character was so hollow, but I took him directly out of his reality and plunged him into the new one, creating a new story series that is fantastically in-depth and juicy.